May 13th - Letting Go And Letting God

Letting go used to be such a painful thing my eyes. I mean letting go of anything is a horrible feeling. However, finding Joy and peace in letting go and letting God in, is easily the greatest thing you can do. I have the most sweetest testimony of this, I promise.  You know the saying, "When one door closes another one opens?" Well I'm here to say, it is so true. One door in my life closed and truly the most beautiful one opened. I remember one night weeping so deeply begging God to help me close a door behind me, because it hurt too much to leave open. He met me that night, while I was lying in fetal position craving the warmth of his embrace and calling out for his help. I cried out to him, "I can't close this door God, I just can't. I'm too angry to forgive. My life wasn't meant to be like this." As I cried out to him I heard him say to me, "My Daughter, in closing this door, you will find what is behind the one In front of you." I cried more and said why can't you just be here, right here right now... Fix this, Hold me. Please, I need you." I then heard him say to me the one thing he has continued to say for the last year and half, "Just trust me."

That next day I was in a car accident and had to shoot a wedding. I was even more angry and left feeling 1000x more confused than before. I felt so empty and so sad.  Also, my true example of forgiveness texted me and it just set me off even more lol. That night I laid in my air bnb bed feeling so broken physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I prayed to wake up feeling restored and with the door being closed. I woke up that next day with no feeling of restoration and or that door being anywhere near closed. So the Lord led me to the middle of a forest. Just like Joseph did, I found a quiet spot in the woods and offered the fullest desires of my heart to the Lord. No one was around, but man if they were I would have looked like a crazy person. I could not stop crying... Here I was in the middle of the wilderness just sobbing, praying and calling out to God. I was there for a few hour's until the Lord met me exactly where I was. He spoke to me and showed me what I needed to see in that season. He then gave me the strength to close that door once and for all. I then sat in front of the unopened door that was in front of me for what felt like an eternity. When It finally opened, behind it Jesus was waiting for me. He met me with the warmest embrace. I let go and surrendered all control and left it at my saviors feet. As if he was truly standing in front of me I reached out to touch his feet that were right in front of me. All that came from my mouth was, Thank you, thank you so much. I love you. I love you, Lord. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me, please see me, please Lord, I only want to serve you." He smiled at me and said, "You are forgiven and found my little sheep and I have always loved you. It is an experience I will never forget in my entire life. 

This is the exact spot the Lord spoke to me and I was reminded of this talk by Elder Holland "Remember Lot's Wife" specifically these words. 

Let people repent. Let people grow. Believe that people can change and improve. Is that faith? Yes! Is that hope? Yes! Is it charity? Yes! Above all, it is charity, the pure love of Christ. If something is buried in the past, leave it buried. Don’t keep going back with your little sand pail and beach shovel to dig it up, wave it around, and then throw it at someone, saying, “Hey! Do you remember this?” Splat!

Well, guess what? That is probably going to result in some ugly morsel being dug up out of yourlandfill with the reply, “Yeah, I remember it. Do you remember this?” Splat.

And soon enough everyone comes out of that exchange dirty and muddy and unhappy and hurt, when what God, our Father in Heaven, pleads for is cleanliness and kindness and happiness and healing.

Such dwelling on past lives, including past mistakes, is just not right! It is not the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is worse than Miniver Cheevy, and in some ways worse than Lot’s wife, because at least there he and she were only destroying themselves. In these cases of marriage and family and wards and apartments and neighborhoods, we can end up destroying so many, many others.

Perhaps at this beginning of a new year there is no greater requirement for us than to do as the Lord Himself said He does: “Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more” (D&C 58:42).

That day and this trip wrecked me in the absolute best way. I had so many plans for this trip, but Heavenly Father had so much more planned for me. The car accident I was in ruined all my plans to go hiking, mountain biking, and exploring all of Lake Arrowhead. However, it forced me to slow down and take in everything around me. Jesus spoke to me here, I closed the door here, and I found myself here. I let Go and Let God here. I surrendered every part of myself here to Jesus and said to him, "It hurts closing this door, but I am ready to open up the one in front of me and I trust you." So I did exactly that. I opened that door and Jesus was there waiting for me. He showed me what forgiveness truly looked like, he showed me how meek of a spirit I truly have, and what unconditional love looks like. After this trip I made a promise to just Let Go and Let God. So moving forward I chose love instead of hate and his word over outside influences. I chose forgiveness each and every time. I chose his way over my way a hundred times over and I will continue to do so. 

Satan tried so hard to beat me down, to pull me off the Lords path, and sadly for a short/brief moment he was successful. I was still meek in spirit, forgave, and chose to trust God, but I was still sad and living in fear. My fear overpowered my faith. It wasn't until a few months ago where I let go of my fear completey. I know the Lord is behind me, I know the pain I have experienced does not compare to the joy that is coming. I know that I am on the right path and my Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ are my foundation. I let go of all control of what I thought my life would be and fully Let God take control over what my life will be. Letting go is not an easy thing, but don't view it as you're letting go and LOSING. View it as you're letting go and RECEIVING. I let go of my past and I am walking uprightly towards my future with a humbled and grateful heart. So let Go, and Let God do what he is so good at doing. Let him lead and guide you, it's the only path you should be on, trust me. The enemy wants you to feel like you having control is the only way to have peace/security, but it's all a lie. I speak in faith as you Let Go and Let God you can truly see he is the God of reconciliation, of forgiveness, and restoration. He is the God who can take the things from the past and turn them into something so beautiful. 

While going through a hard time with my health the elders came by to visit me and my family and shared with me and my Husband, "This trial will be for your better and will strengthen you." Whenever I feel weak and or confused I remember his words and they truly bring me so much peace. The Lord has proven his words to be true.. I have seen that my trials, my families trials were used for good and have strengthened me. Although parts of my past are heavy and hurt, I am truly so thankful for what I have learned through each one. I only know happiness, because I've known sadness. I only know meekness, because I've known anger. I only know unconditional love, because know conditional love. I only know forgiveness, because I used to not know how to forgive. I only know the true love and light of my savior Jesus Christ, because I know the darkness from the enemy. It's not easy, and you'll have to give up many things, but I promise as the enemy sends in a flood, the Lord will raise up a barrier. 

Let Go, and Let God..


Dear Heavenly Father, 

I thank you so much for this day. I thank you for finding me in that forest on June 3rd, 2023. Thank you for the love and light you continue to instill in me every single day. Lord, I thank you for the person reading this. Please bless them Heavenly Father. I bind up the enemy and all his tactics that threaten to take them off of the path you have set for them. Thank you for finding them exactly where they are, pointing them to all things that are true, and removing all doubt that you can restore ANYTHING. You are the God of reconciliation and restoration. You are the God who can mend all things that seem to broken to fix, the way maker who makes ways when there is no way. Lord, please have mercy on our homes, our marriages, our families, and our lives. Please do something so big this season we so can have another reason to praise you. Thank you Lord for restoring what the enemy came to steal, kill, and destroy. Thank you, thank you, thank you Father for a love that is so sweet and tender. Thank you for allowing us to repent and make right where we have gone wrong. I thank you for what it is you put on my tongue, all the glory goes to you! Wherever you are leading our families, our marriages, our lives, our children etc, please Lord please let it only be of you. Cast out the enemy completely that he will hold NO POWER. You are the God of authority, of truth, of principle so please Lord let your truth be known. You are NOT the God of hatred, ego, pride, divorce, lust, deceit, pain, suffering, etc.

I bind up wrong council, false narrative, divorce, influences, worldly voices/counsel, false doctrine, pornography, lust, selfishness, seeds of deception, ego, double mindedness, pride, etc. Anything of the enemy I bind up right now in Jesus Name. 

Amen

While praying on my walk I looked up and saw this on top of a little Christian book store. When I tell ya God spoke to me so much on this trip, I meant it!