This afternoon the title of this blog read differently and all the words within it. I poured out my heart and wrote the longest thing I have yet. Each time I went to publish the post, I couldn't. So I would go and edit it, start completely over, and try and publish it again. I did this probably about five times. As a writer, words flow from me as quickly as the nile river.. However today I was just stumped and I questioned every sentence. " So I said to God, "Lord I don't know, but I know you do."
So many things and events can take place in our lives that leave us feeling so confused. Have you ever found yourself praying about something specific, maybe even years and it's answered, but still nothing major changes/happens. So you're left feeling confused. My conversations with the Lord often can sound a lot like this, "Okay Lord, this is what you've shown you want for me and I'm doing it, but nothing is happening." This is where one of my favorite scriptures comes into play. "Walk by faith, not by sight." We reach towards the unknown, but faith lights the way. If we cultivate that faith, we shall never walk in darkness. Like another scripture I love goes, Hebrews: 11:1 "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."
Heavenly Father continues to sharpen me so much in this season. So many things are being learned, especially the power a praying Mother and Wife hold. I don't feel led to yet, because it's still so fresh, but an extremely life changing/scary encounter happened this past Friday May 17th with my daughter. In that moment, God showed me the power a praying Mother holds. In that moment, I truly had to walk by faith and not by sight. Today while writing out what I did, I sank into a puddle of tears. There is so much I want to say, so much I want to reveal. God's words, "Be still and know that I am God," quickly came over me. His time will forever be greater than our own. Even if it is painful and doesn't make sense right now, it will someday and I speak that with the utmost faith that has been bestowed upon me.
Yesterday I was the led to the temple. I didn't have many words, so all I said was, "Lord, I don't know.. but I know you do." It's simple, to the point. I feel like I have prayed and prayed. My knee's hurt so much for how often I find myself on them. My neck hurts for how often I bow it. My flesh screams at me daily, to just give in, give up, and stop fighting. Satan whispers in my ear I am fighting this battle alone. However I know that is not true. I know with all of my heart each time I fall, The Lord is right there beside me. He sharpens my discernment, awareness, and understanding daily. I truly owe it all to him.
Write now I feel like a fighter pilot in this season. I get my gear ready and then I'm off in the air. With the enemy at my back, above me, and below. However, despite how many lives were taken in WWII, the ending remains the same. The Allies won, and the Axis's were defeated. So despite how many times my plane is hit, and the wounds I sustain in this war, the ending is the same each and every time. I do not fear my future, because I know who is behind it.
So the times I find myself not knowing what to pray, I'll just say "Lord I don't know, but I know you do".. because he does. He knows my prayers and yours well before they leave our lips. Heck even before we mentally can find words to form a sentence worth saying. He knows the deepest desires of hearts. He knows all, see's all, and his will, will forever be done. I wanted to share that one blog, but this was put on my heart instead. Maybe I'll get the confidence tomorrow, but for today I'll share this.
When you don't know, just know, God does. What seems so broken beyond repair, He knows can be fixed through him and because of him. The very things that would, "take a miracle," He knows he is the miracle. I serve the God of miracles, of restoration, reconciliation, and the one who created all things. What God do you serve? Do you limit Him? Do you trust in him completely? Do you have the faith that through him anything can be restored? Do you trust and believe he remove the hearts of stone? That he is who you should only seek counsel from?
The God I serve led me to write this and for you to read it. Don't doubt his reasoning. Why he places us at exact places and exact times for a reason. It is all within reason and I know the very things that don't make sense now, one day will. I speak in faith he is restoring what the enemy came to steal, kill, and destroy RIGHT NOW.
I trust in him completely to restore us, do you?
Heavenly Father,
Thank you for this day. Thank you for this reader.
Lord, thank you for making us fighters in this season, and removing all fear and doubt. I thank you for being the God who restores, mends, and heals. Thank you for pointing me towards all things true. Thank you for the discernment you give me as a Mother and the awareness you have taught me. It is because of you my daughter is safe, alive, and in my arms. Thank you for your angels that protected her that day. Thank you for the hope and strength you continue to instill in me, Heavenly Father. Thank you for giving me the fight and courage as our World War II fighters had as they flew their planes. Thank you for making me a warrior, teaching me how to pray with intent and giving me the confirmation to be bold in you. Thank you for removing my fear and replacing it with Faith. If I have done anything in this season that has displeased you, Lord forgive me. Remove my flesh and replace it with you a hundred times over. Forgive me for any doubt I have had in what you are capable of doing. Heavenly Father I know you are the way maker and you can do all things. I know through you I can do all things. Thank you for May 18th's every year. Thank you for teaching me and showing me the power a praying Mother and Wife hold. Thank you for your blood that was shed at calvary. Thank you for sending your only son for our sins. I don't know how you did. Please forgive me, forgive them, forgive those men and woman on Friday. Point them towards truth, show them their wicked ways, and please give them the fear of you in them. Please Lord, if they continue to follow Satan, protect every child in their path. Lord, thank you for your divine protection. Thank you, that as my child cried out for her Father, you showed up. You showed her that you are her Father and the truest example of it. Thank you for her safety, I cannot thank you enough. Please Father, show men their children need them. They need true examples of good godly men. They need their protection. Thank you for touching this reader right now, whoever that may be.. That you are within them and it's time to stop falling to the enemies lie. You are the God who can do all things. I will be still, because I know that you are God. So lord, I will continue to praise you in this storm. I will lift my hands, because you are who you are no matter where I am.
I say this humbly in the sacred name of my Savior Jesus Christ,
Amen
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